Gallery of Regrettable Food; Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor; Bone to Pick

I discovered James Lileks' blog and to my delight we had his book at work: "The Gallery of Regrettable Food". The name says it all, and it had me rolling with laughter. Lileks has collected old cookbooks from the 50s and 60s, when everything was made in a mold or creamed, and culled some of the worst pictures out, adding hilarious captions. It was great fun.
"Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor" by Robert Kirkman is in novel form, about how Brian Blake became the Governor in the graphic novels. Apparently it's the first in a planned trilogy, so we'll see exactly how he became so evil.
"A Bone to Pick" by Charlaine Harris is her second Aurora Teagarden mystery. It was very short, but a light read. Aurora inherits a house and discovers a skull hidden. She doesn't believe the old owner of the house killed anyone, so she starts investigating to find out who it could have been and what might have happened to him.

11/22/63

Wow, the King is back and in a big, big way! Stephen King's latest brick of a book, "11/22/63" was magnificent (spoilers ahead!). Jake Epping is a recently divorced teacher in a small town in Maine. He's a nice guy, so when a local diner owner named Al asks him for a favor, Jake obliges. Turns out there is a hole, a bubble, in the pantry of Al's diner that allows him to travel back in time to September of 1958. Al has been doing this for years, going back to the same day in September, hanging around 1958 for a bit, buying ground beef at cut rate prices and returning to the present day only minutes after he left, no matter how long he stays in 1958. It seems as if the past resets every time he goes back through the hole. Al had the idea of going back and sticking around until 1963, and stopping Lee Harvey Oswald from killing President Kennedy. Unfortunately, Al gets very sick and is forced to return to 2011 before he gets the chance to take Oswald out, or even determine to his satisfaction that Oswald was working alone. He asks Jake to do it, and Jake agrees. Well, the past doesn't like to be messed with, and for very good reasons, and fights back against change, which Jake learns the hard way. Saving Kennedy really wasn't the focus of the book, although it was an interesting plot line. For some reason a lot of people in King's generation idolize Kennedy and seem to think if only he had lived, the world wouldn't be as messed up as it is. I highly doubt that. I'm far removed from the myth of Camelot, so it doesn't enchant me the same way it does the older folks. The very best part - Jake goes to Derry, Maine in September of 1958, right after the summer of "IT" and sees Richie and Bev!! That had to be the best part, I love those kids. "11/22/63" is right up there with "IT", "The Stand", and "Christine", in my book.

Artemis Fowl: the Atlantis Complex; Lizzie

Book seven of the Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer, "The Atlantis Complex", was good fun. Turnball Root is planning a prison break, and the fairies need Artemis to help save the world, only Artemis is suffering from Atlantis Complex, which causes OCD and multiple personality disorder. General hilarity ensues with poor Captain Holly trying to hold things together while Artemis's sweeter side, Orion, makes an appearance, professing his undying love for her.
Frank Spiering's "Lizzie", about (what else?) the Lizzie Borden case, was...fanciful. It was an interesting theory, that Emma committed the murders, but really very thin on facts or reality.

Lizzie Didn't Do It!; Artemis Fowl: the Time Paradox; Real Murders

So, I got to tour the Lizzie Borden house in Fall River, Massachusetts a few weeks ago when I was in New England. I've always been fascinated by that crime, and read everything I can get my hands on about it. I'll have a few more to write about in the upcoming weeks, but for now "Lizzie Didn't Do It!" by William Masterton was very interesting. He pointed out that even modern day forensics cannot pinpoint time of death any closer than three hours, based on temperature of the body and the stomach contents, yet for 100 years everyone has assumed that Abby Borden was murdered 1 1/2 to 2 hours before her husband, simply because that's what they decided at the time. What if, Masterton posits, Abby and Andrew were killed within a few minutes of each other, by an intruder? Andrew's body was discovered just a few minutes after he was killed by Lizzie, returning from the barn. She raises the cry of murder and no one thinks to look for Abigail for almost an hour, and when they do discover her in the guest bedroom she is colder, her blood is more congealed, than Andrew's because it took longer for them to discover her. It's not all that strange a theory, when you consider all the other possibilities that have been put forth in this fascinating unsolved murder case.
"Artemis Fowl: the Time Paradox" by Eoin Colfer is book 6 in the series, and Angelina Fowl is dying rapidly of a mysterious disease. Artemis calls in Holly and Demon No 1 to help, and they determine she has a deadly fairly disease that one gets from having magic used on them. The only known cure is brain fluid from a now extinct lemur. Artemis and Holly must travel back in time 8 years, to a time when a ten year old Artemis was capturing the last lemur to sell to raise funds to search for his missing father. The whole time travel thing was confusing, but it was fun to see older Artemis trying to outwit younger Artemis.
"Real Murders" by Charlaine Harris was a quick, fluffy read, one of those books you don't really need to devote your full attention to. Aurora Teagarden is a librarian in a small town and a member of the real murders club, a group that gets together to discuss true crime and historical murders. Then murders start happening in their own town, mimicking historical crimes, and members of the group are implicated when evidence is planted against them. Everyone is acting suspicious and no one knows who can be trusted any longer.

Perfect; Emily Climbs; Artemis Fowl: the Lost Colony; The Clique; Tree Grows in Brooklyn; Bag of Bones

Okay, I know I'm way behind but I have a very, very good excuse.
I WENT TO SEE STEPHEN KING'S HOUSE IN MAINE.

Yes, I know. Yes, I was that ridiculously excited. Anyway, it was an amazing trip but now I'm back and ready to get caught up.
"Perfect" by Ellen Hopkins was a companion to "Impulse". Connor's twin Cara is struggling with her sexuality, her boyfriend, Sean, doing steroids to earn a baseball scholarship, Kendra starving herself to become a model, all in the name of perfection. Hopkins point is that no one is perfect so you should love who you are. It was very powerful and I enjoyed it.
"Emily Climbs" by L. M. Montgomery is the sequel to "Emily of New Moon". Emily is off for three years of high school in Shrewsbery where she does quite well despite the restraint of her overbearing Aunt Ruth. It reminds me of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", where Delores Umbridge is so annoyingly unfair and frustrating. Emily handles it all much better than I would have, that's for sure! Now unfortunately none of my libraries have the third book, so I might have to buy it.
"Artemis Fowl: the Lost Colony" by Eoin Colfer is the fifth book in the series. Artemis is chasing time traveling demons and facing a nemesis like no other: a twelve year old girl who is just as intelligent and devious as he was at that age, plus she's pretty and Artemis is going into puberty. Oopsies.
"The Clique" by Lisi Harrison is the first book in her series of a group of spoiled junior high school girls. It really wasn't that good, to be honest. But it did while away a few hours on the plane out to New England.
"Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith was a reread. I suddenly felt the need to reread it. It was one of my favorite books as a young teenager, and it's still good. Francie Nolan is a poor girl growing up in turn of the 20th century Brooklyn. Her father is a drunk, her mother works herself nearly to death to keep the family fed and sheltered, and Francie escapes into a world of books. Boy, doesn't all that sound familiar!
And finally, "Bag of Bones" by Stephen King. I bought it back in 2002 and never read it. I'm sure I meant to, but I was going to school and working full time and never got around to it. I saw the ads for the upcoming miniseries and wanted to watch it, but I wanted to read the book first. I'm glad I did, I really enjoyed it. Mike Noonan is a writer who hasn't written anything since his wife, Jo, died suddenly four years earlier. He moves to their summer house, Sara Laughs, hoping for inspiration. He finds himself in the middle of a custody battle between a young woman struggling to keep her child against the baby's wealthy, powerful grandfather. Mike decides to help Mattie out, and becomes a target of the old man's wrath. Oh, and his house is most decidedly haunted. Very, very good, classic heart wrenching SK ending and all.